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I Love Ya, Liz Baby... by jbwarner86 I Love Ya, Liz Baby... by jbwarner86
"...But I love groceries more."

It's been a long time coming, but I've finally been struck with the inspiration I needed to resume my Top 25 "Mystery Science Theater 3000" Countdown (I'm currently on a marathon of watching every episode from 101 to 706, and hopefully beyond). And picking up at number 12 is the decidedly Roger Corman-esque 406, "Attack of the Giant Leeches"!

Synopsis, from the MST3K Amazing Colossal Episode Guide:
"This movie features swamp-dwelling hicks who inhabit an isolated corner of South Florida, probably the Everglades. Chief among them are chunky grocer Dave Walker (played by Bruno VeSota); his hot, philandering, leopard-skin-underweared wife Liz; and Liz's thick lover, Cal. The big leeches attack the hicks as they tend drunkenly to their otter lines, and drag them to an underwater hideout as a source of blood. These are some smart giant leeches; it seems they target those who see them. When Liz and Cal are snatched after being chased into the swamp by the lumbering cuckolded Dave, dozens of outraged hicks pour into the swamp with hounds and torches. Steve, a game warden, dons scuba gear and has a pointless knife fight with the leeches. Although it's a nice try, a few sticks of dynamite tossed in the water finally solve the problem. Everyone goes home with a trunkload o' crappies, too."
Add a Comment:
 
:icondrfuturism:
DrFuturism Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Student Writer
Steve: Look try to understand-

Mike: I'M A JERK.

That is my FAVORITE line.
Reply
:iconatlasfan:
AtlasFan Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2011
Hey Uncle Dad, I am a menace to my self and others! Great piece.
Reply
:iconmaxvision92:
maxvision92 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You know, I'm gonna side with Paul Chaplin here and say that I loved this movie's atmosphere. Really creepy concept, the mutant leeches, and the swamp setting just made it creepier. I just wish they'd ditched the game warden plot and gone full "Deliverance meets C.H.U.D." on the story.
Reply
:iconskot7777777:
Skot7777777 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011
Those aren't bullets, they're Tootsie Rolls!
Reply
:iconbladedge:
BLADEDGE Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011  Student General Artist
you should o a pic of "3 being A Danger To Ourself and Others"
Reply
:iconlieju:
Lieju Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2010
That was such a disappointing movie. How can you go wrong with the concept of giant leeches killing people!?
Reply
:iconjbwarner86:
jbwarner86 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2010
When you've got a budget of $40 and a two-day shooting schedule, a lot can go wrong. That's Roger Corman for ya!
Reply
:iconcrossbones6732:
crossbones6732 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2010
Love it when the fat guy comes to deliver the groceries, and he brings out the shotgun. "Alright Miss Fincklestein, I've brought them groceries, now I don't want anymore trouble now, ye hear?"
Reply
:icondwilesjr:
Dwilesjr Featured By Owner May 30, 2010  Hobbyist Artist
that was my favorite Joel episode
Reply
:iconratravarman:
ratravarman Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
I had the pleasure to hear the original audio feed for the trailer of this classically bad piece! It's a scream. I will see if I can find it online as I heard it as part of NPR's annual Halloween tribute for the Retro Cocktail Hour.
Reply
:iconeat-to-the-beat:
Eat-to-the-beat Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2008   Photographer
"You, ah, you walk all the way, Dave?"
"No, there's a motorcycle in my pants, whaddaya think?"
Reply
:iconskull-boy666:
skull-boy666 Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
OH DEAR GOD, JOE DON BAKER! No, wait, just his cousin, false alarm! Sorry everybody.

PS: MST3K = <3
Reply
:iconjbwarner86:
jbwarner86 Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2008
Were Bruno VeSota and Joe Don Baker really related? This is the first I've heard of it...
Reply
:iconskull-boy666:
skull-boy666 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lol, no, I was just going out of my way to make fun of Joe Don Baker. I take every oppurtunity I can to make fun of him, call it an old habit.
Reply
:iconmelaniegracey:
MelanieGracey Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2008  Student Digital Artist
Oh my gosh; I love that episode. So, so funny. Awesome job. :D :D
Reply
:iconnothingsp:
nothingsp Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2008
(as Elmer Fudd) "Be vewy qwiet...we'we hunting adultewews. *Fudd chuckle*"
Reply
:iconnutcase71733:
NUTCASE71733 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2008
That was the best riff in that episode, especially when paired with the generic cartoon gunshot sound used for that guy's shotgun.

Liz: It's Cal season!

Cal: Liz season!

Liz: Cal season!

Cal: Liz season!

Liz: CAL SEASON!

Cal: Cal season!

Liz: LIZ SEASON!!!

Cal: Cal season!

Liz: LIZ SEASON, FIRE!!!!! *gets shot. her makeup and wig is messed up by the blast*
Reply
:iconcaptain-chaotica:
Captain-Chaotica Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Another one of my favourite episodes (the black and white Roger Corman cheesefests usually tend to rank high, with me)--just the right amount of B-movie cheese to make it fun. Plus I thought the scene with all the dead/dying bodies lying around in the leeches'....lair at the bottom of the lake was kinda creepy.

But it's all fun and games once they BLOW THE WHOLE LAKE SKY-HIGH, whoo. :)

...Notorious
Reply
:iconmarkfanboy:
MarkFanboy Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Great depiction of a truly crappy movie that made for a good MST3K ep. Plus Liz was hawt! Too bad she got all her blood drained out.
Reply
:iconsilver-falcon:
Silver-Falcon Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2008   Digital Artist
"Whadja do with the bodies?"

"BURP."
Reply
:iconfractiouslemon:
FractiousLemon Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2008
One of Heather's favorite episodes and one of the first ones I ever saw... Though the only part I ever seem to be able to remember is Dr. Forrester attaching a leech to Frank at the beginning of the episode, which swells up to human size by the end.
Reply
:iconhugbees:
hugbees Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2008
Great work. I love that episode. On your countdown, have you or will you do a final sacrifice pic? God i love that one.
Reply
:iconnutcase71733:
NUTCASE71733 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2008
I'S HATES THAT RABBIT!

OOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!

I's hates legends...

OOOHH! It means I'm gonna hogtie that varmint!!!
Reply
:iconhugbees:
hugbees Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2008
Knew him? He was delicious!

Rowsdowermobile...AWAY!!!!
Reply
:iconkinggigasmon:
Kinggigasmon Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Tom Servo: "No! Not the vacuum tubes! AAAAAAAH!"
Reply
:iconnutcase71733:
NUTCASE71733 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2008
I gotta be honest here. Considering where this movie takes place, and the people in the film the actors are portraying, I'd say the blood of their victims wouldn't be all that utritious for them. I mean, wouldn't one think that inbred hick blood could make a leech sick?
Reply
:iconjbwarner86:
jbwarner86 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2008
"Maybe it's that rocket fuel you've been drinkin'?"
Reply
:iconnutcase71733:
NUTCASE71733 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2008
LOL
Reply
:iconfrobman:
Frobman Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2008   Filmographer
Hahaha! I was just watching this yesterday!
"Please! I've already got a pHd on "Not to take your wife behind your back!"" and what else? "They've got enough to blow the whole town up!"
Reply
:iconiisryan:
iisryan Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2008  Student Digital Artist
I'm loving this series. I'm hoping we'll be getting one of the really wildly imaginative episodes illustrated before the series ends (Godzilla vs. Megalon or Gamera vs. Guiron perhaps). I excitedly await the rest of the series!
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:iconnutcase71733:
NUTCASE71733 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2008
Tom: I think what our bright your friend is trying to say, here, is: The reason we three goofuses are asked to to do these hazardous tasks outisde the perimeter of society's normal rationale, is WE'RE A DANGER TO OURSELF AND OTHERS!

(singing)

Oh, I'm a danger to myself and others!
My cousins are as close as brothers!
I stay out in the rain all the time!

Crow: He's a danger to himself and others!
Sorta' likes shows with Sally Struthers!
I can't even think of a word that rhymes!

Joel: How dumb are you Uncle-Dad?
Tom: Well, pretty dumb that's for sure!
Crow: How dumb are you Uncle-Dad?
Tom: Well, this pipe's filled with manure!

All: We're a danger to ourself and others!
Rape the earth and steal our mothers!
Leave us in the woods and we're just fine!

We're a danger to ourself and others! (Joel lights dynomite...)
Do livestock make better lovers?
Hunting leeches is what we call a good time! (Dynomite explodes.)

Tom (spoken): Oh boy! I'd like to shake hands with any giant leech who could live through THAT!
Crow: What? The dynomite or that crappy song?!?
Reply
:iconzimeta:
Zimeta Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ohman, memories!
I love it whenever they get outta the theatre and dress up like the characters/monster from the movie XD
Reply
:iconfyuvix:
Fyuvix Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2008  Professional Digital Artist
So classic XD I just love your renditions of this.

Have you heard of RiffTrax? [link] It's the guys who did MST3K, and they do recent movies now. But its stupid cuz you have to buy their track, and sinc it up yourself with your own copy of the movie XDD But its still freakin' hilarious
Reply
:icontragedyann:
tragedyann Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2008  Student
Oh man...I actually had a scary dream about giant leeches after watching this one. And it was in Shadowramma! :XD:;
I love how Giant Leeches has the exact same opening credits music as Night of the Blood Beast. o__0 Good job on the dense foliage!
Reply
:iconnutcase71733:
NUTCASE71733 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2008
What happened exactly? Were you attacked by the leeches, or were you forced to watch the movie against your will? I'd say the latter is more terrifying than anything.
Reply
:icontragedyann:
tragedyann Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2008  Student
I dunno...it looked like I was watching some different movie about leeches. The movie was actually scarier...probably would have been less so if I could hear Joel's voice! o.o
Reply
:iconfatefinger:
FATEFINGER Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2008
(Sigh) I don't know what more pathetic: That I knew exactly what movie this was taken from as soon as a saw the title, or that I own this movie.
Reply
:iconxx-pheonix-xx:
xX-pheonix-Xx Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2008
:D :yawnstretch:
:abduction:
:deviation:
:diny:
:jarkinajar:
:sumo:
:venox:
:kronix:
:noir:
:frail:
:alphaosiris:
:firelite-photo:
:ninjaplot:
:flageu:
:keiross:
:flaguk:
:halfliquid:
:saddrunk:
:ahoy:
:jedi:
:hexentanz:
:manhug:
:damphyr:
:shakefish:
:ohnoes:
Reply
:icontrumpsize:
trumpsize Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2009
You paid $12.95 a month just for this.
Where would the world be without epic fails?
Reply
:iconking-cheetah:
King-Cheetah Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2008
"A'right, I brought your groceries Miss Shoaby, I don't want no trouble this time..."
Reply
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